Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Code of Conduct
Thank you, Hanna. Thank you.
Your selection of ‘Code of Conduct’ as our topic for this week is both inspired and inspiring.
Your subtle sensibility exhibits a sensible subtlety, and has given you a keen awareness as well as an aware keenness concerning the dire need of this workshop group for serious moral instruction - a need indeed so great in this group that I feel compelled by a compulsive feeling, to set my natural overwhelming modesty aside in order to modestly undertake this vital undertaking - with, of course, my usual unusual vitality.
The rules I am about to impart, are of such import, that I must importune you all as to the importance of chanting them each morning, immediately upon waking, and repeating them aloud repeatedly to yourself upon retiring in the evening. Assuredly, only then can you be assured of imprinting their imprint onto your conscious conscience. Failure to do this would be unconscionable.
Rule # 1 - Do unto others before they have a chance to do unto to you.
Lets suppose you’re in a crowded parking lot , driving up one lane and down the next, looking for an empty parking spot. Finally you see one just ahead. Another car is coming from the other direction and the driver sees the same space. You, armed with Rule #1, accelerate madly, thereby achieving the space. I recommend that while doing this you lean heavily on your horn, thus warning any pedestrians to jump out of your way. Such consideration merits accolades from all who witness your performance.
Rule # 2 - Don’t look back. Someone may be gaining on you.
Satchel Paige was the first person, of whom I am aware, to use this admonition. I’m not sure he understood the many figurative implications of the statement.
Let’s start with just the first sentence. ‘Don’t look back,’ can be advice to be selectively forgetful of those memories which are unpleasant for you. Would life not be much more satisfying if we could expunge all recollections of failures, embarrassments, and unfulfilled aspirations? ‘Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.’
I don’t suggest that it can mean to forget everything. Then nothing can ever be learned. Come to think of it, some of our leaders have already reached this exalted state.
In this world, we need our memories. Heaven is another story. Only if yesterday’s eternal bliss is entirely forgotten, can today’s bliss be fresh and tolerable, freeing us from eternal boredom.
Rule # 3 - Do as I say, not as I do.
This is, of course, the most important rule. My sacred right to privacy precludes our examining those things that I do. Needless to mention, they have little semblance to the things that I say. I find that I am, beyond morality, beyond immorality, beyond amorality. Indeed, I am beyond all hope.
Anyway, thank you Hanna. Thank you.
Your selection of ‘Code of Conduct’ as our topic for this week is both inspired and inspiring.
Your subtle sensibility exhibits a sensible subtlety, and has given you a keen awareness as well as an aware keenness concerning the dire need of this workshop group for serious moral instruction - a need indeed so great in this group that I feel compelled by a compulsive feeling, to set my natural overwhelming modesty aside in order to modestly undertake this vital undertaking - with, of course, my usual unusual vitality.
The rules I am about to impart, are of such import, that I must importune you all as to the importance of chanting them each morning, immediately upon waking, and repeating them aloud repeatedly to yourself upon retiring in the evening. Assuredly, only then can you be assured of imprinting their imprint onto your conscious conscience. Failure to do this would be unconscionable.
Rule # 1 - Do unto others before they have a chance to do unto to you.
Lets suppose you’re in a crowded parking lot , driving up one lane and down the next, looking for an empty parking spot. Finally you see one just ahead. Another car is coming from the other direction and the driver sees the same space. You, armed with Rule #1, accelerate madly, thereby achieving the space. I recommend that while doing this you lean heavily on your horn, thus warning any pedestrians to jump out of your way. Such consideration merits accolades from all who witness your performance.
Rule # 2 - Don’t look back. Someone may be gaining on you.
Satchel Paige was the first person, of whom I am aware, to use this admonition. I’m not sure he understood the many figurative implications of the statement.
Let’s start with just the first sentence. ‘Don’t look back,’ can be advice to be selectively forgetful of those memories which are unpleasant for you. Would life not be much more satisfying if we could expunge all recollections of failures, embarrassments, and unfulfilled aspirations? ‘Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.’
I don’t suggest that it can mean to forget everything. Then nothing can ever be learned. Come to think of it, some of our leaders have already reached this exalted state.
In this world, we need our memories. Heaven is another story. Only if yesterday’s eternal bliss is entirely forgotten, can today’s bliss be fresh and tolerable, freeing us from eternal boredom.
Rule # 3 - Do as I say, not as I do.
This is, of course, the most important rule. My sacred right to privacy precludes our examining those things that I do. Needless to mention, they have little semblance to the things that I say. I find that I am, beyond morality, beyond immorality, beyond amorality. Indeed, I am beyond all hope.
Anyway, thank you Hanna. Thank you.
