Tuesday, January 03, 2006
About Luggage
The hotel guest, followed by the bellhop, arrived at the front desk. The bellhop pushed a heavily laden dolly containing four bags from a matched set.
"I’m checking out." the guest called loudly.
"Was everything satisfactory sir?" asked the desk clerk.
"Fine. But I’m in a hurry. Lets get this over with!"
The guest turned, looked at his baggage, scowled and demanded, "Where’s my fifth bag?"
"There were only four sir." responded the bellhop deferentially.
"There were five! Don’t tell me there were only four!"
The bellhop stood silently and glanced at the desk clerk.
"Don’t just stand there like a dummy. Go back and get my other bag!"
"Yes sir." The bellhop quickly departed.
The guest, drumming his fingers impatiently on the counter complained, "You people have such stupid help. No wonder so many hotels go out of business.
"Yes sir," mumbled the desk clerk
The bellhop reappeared, empty-handed.
"There were no additional bags, sir."
"Are you calling me a liar?"
"No, sir."
The guest turned to the desk clerk. "Are you going to let him call me a liar?"
"No, sir" whispered the desk clerk.
"Excuse me sir," ventured the bellhop. "I brought your bags in yesterday, and at that time there were only four."
"What?"
"I remember because you insisted on arranging them yourself on the dolly and the top one fell off twice in the elevator."
"Young man, you’re impertinent!"
"What’s that sir?"
"I said you’re impertinent!"
"I know what you said, sir. I don’t know what ‘impertinent’ means."
The guest turned to the desk clerk. "See what I mean about stupid!"
The bellhop continued, "I also remember that you didn’t give me a tip, even though those two largest bags were unusually heavy."
Now the desk clerk was struggling to hold back a smirk.
"Let’s go!" the guest ordered and led the bellhop out the door.
A few minutes later the bellhop returned.
"I’ll bet he didn’t tip you this time either."
"Not a red cent."
"You know," mused the desk clerk, "Our jobs would be tolerable if only we could tell one guest a month to go to hell."
"You got that right!" agreed the bellhop.
"I’m checking out." the guest called loudly.
"Was everything satisfactory sir?" asked the desk clerk.
"Fine. But I’m in a hurry. Lets get this over with!"
The guest turned, looked at his baggage, scowled and demanded, "Where’s my fifth bag?"
"There were only four sir." responded the bellhop deferentially.
"There were five! Don’t tell me there were only four!"
The bellhop stood silently and glanced at the desk clerk.
"Don’t just stand there like a dummy. Go back and get my other bag!"
"Yes sir." The bellhop quickly departed.
The guest, drumming his fingers impatiently on the counter complained, "You people have such stupid help. No wonder so many hotels go out of business.
"Yes sir," mumbled the desk clerk
The bellhop reappeared, empty-handed.
"There were no additional bags, sir."
"Are you calling me a liar?"
"No, sir."
The guest turned to the desk clerk. "Are you going to let him call me a liar?"
"No, sir" whispered the desk clerk.
"Excuse me sir," ventured the bellhop. "I brought your bags in yesterday, and at that time there were only four."
"What?"
"I remember because you insisted on arranging them yourself on the dolly and the top one fell off twice in the elevator."
"Young man, you’re impertinent!"
"What’s that sir?"
"I said you’re impertinent!"
"I know what you said, sir. I don’t know what ‘impertinent’ means."
The guest turned to the desk clerk. "See what I mean about stupid!"
The bellhop continued, "I also remember that you didn’t give me a tip, even though those two largest bags were unusually heavy."
Now the desk clerk was struggling to hold back a smirk.
"Let’s go!" the guest ordered and led the bellhop out the door.
A few minutes later the bellhop returned.
"I’ll bet he didn’t tip you this time either."
"Not a red cent."
"You know," mused the desk clerk, "Our jobs would be tolerable if only we could tell one guest a month to go to hell."
"You got that right!" agreed the bellhop.
