Monday, February 13, 2006
A Monentous Occasion
Consider my difficulties. What event shall I describe for you that truly deserves to be deemed momentous? Momentous for whom? For me? For you?
Well, I’ve selected a moment, momentous for us all, which is possibly the most momentous ever to occur - the gift from God of the Commandments by which mankind is ordered to conduct their lives.
Mel Brooks depicts this historical moment in his movie "The History of the World - Part One."
He shows us Moses descending from the Mount with three tablets, containing fifteen Commandments. Tragically Moses drops one of the tablets, which smashes into many small pieces. This tablet contained Commandments Eleven through Fifteen, heretofore lost to mankind.
I will not describe for you the frenzy of esoteric scholarship which attended the search for any shards of stone which might reveal even a modicum of this long lost wisdom.
Happily for you, I have recently been visited with a Devine Revelation, in which the content of this third lost tablet has been revealed to me. It is, of course, my duty and joyful privilege to share this treasure with you.
# 11. Thou shalt not bring cell phones to workshops
# 12. Thou shalt not neglect to dim thy brights when approached by oncoming vehicles, be they cars, trucks or donkey carts.
# 13. Thou shalt not use coupons nor pay by bank check at a supermarket express line.
# 14. Thou shalt not change lanes without signaling, whether driving a car, a truck or a donkey cart.
# 15. Thou shalt not do any thing such that I would not do.
I recommend that you memorize these admonitions and meditate upon them each evening on retiring, and again each morning. It is hoped that now I have enriched your lives with this wisdom, together we can remake the world into a better place.
Well, I’ve selected a moment, momentous for us all, which is possibly the most momentous ever to occur - the gift from God of the Commandments by which mankind is ordered to conduct their lives.
Mel Brooks depicts this historical moment in his movie "The History of the World - Part One."
He shows us Moses descending from the Mount with three tablets, containing fifteen Commandments. Tragically Moses drops one of the tablets, which smashes into many small pieces. This tablet contained Commandments Eleven through Fifteen, heretofore lost to mankind.
I will not describe for you the frenzy of esoteric scholarship which attended the search for any shards of stone which might reveal even a modicum of this long lost wisdom.
Happily for you, I have recently been visited with a Devine Revelation, in which the content of this third lost tablet has been revealed to me. It is, of course, my duty and joyful privilege to share this treasure with you.
# 11. Thou shalt not bring cell phones to workshops
# 12. Thou shalt not neglect to dim thy brights when approached by oncoming vehicles, be they cars, trucks or donkey carts.
# 13. Thou shalt not use coupons nor pay by bank check at a supermarket express line.
# 14. Thou shalt not change lanes without signaling, whether driving a car, a truck or a donkey cart.
# 15. Thou shalt not do any thing such that I would not do.
I recommend that you memorize these admonitions and meditate upon them each evening on retiring, and again each morning. It is hoped that now I have enriched your lives with this wisdom, together we can remake the world into a better place.
