Friday, February 10, 2006
Progress
At last it’s all clear to me! My epiphany has just occurred, abruptly, in one overwhelming coruscating paroxysm of enlightenment. Now I know how Newton felt, how Einstein felt, how Archimedes felt.
My moment of revelation came, naturally enough, while reading the Sunday New York Times. There it was, calling to me from, as you’d expect, the Financial Section. The headline read
"At The Dentist’s Office, X-Rays, Root Canals and, Now, Pampering."
A highlighted excerpt read, "Waterfalls, facials and freshly baked cookies. Open wide and say ‘This isn’t so bad.’"
The article begins, "At her dental appointments Deann Romanick sips green tea and takes in the scent of lavender and the sounds of New Age music. She gets free paraffin hand wax treatment, blankets, a warm neck pad and video glasses in which she can watch "Seinfeld" episodes while the dentist works on her teeth.
The pampering eased her through a root canal and a tooth replacement, and now with her fears of dental work gone, she has moved on to more elective procedures."
Oh Deann, come chew with me!
"Now more than ever people are looking to improve their smiles," said Dr. Irwin Smigal, a Manhattan dentist and founder and president of the American Society of Dental Aesthetics.
At first I found this puzzling. Why now would people want to improve their smiles when nowadays there is so much less to smile about.
Oh well, I thought, be grateful for the new terms entering our lexis. ‘Dental Spa’ and ‘Staff Aesthetician’ can now forever grace our language.
Certainly, Western Civilization has reached its culmination.
I think I’ll write to Dr. Smigal and recommend that hookers in the office would be a pleasant addition. Do you think my insurance will cover?
My moment of revelation came, naturally enough, while reading the Sunday New York Times. There it was, calling to me from, as you’d expect, the Financial Section. The headline read
"At The Dentist’s Office, X-Rays, Root Canals and, Now, Pampering."
A highlighted excerpt read, "Waterfalls, facials and freshly baked cookies. Open wide and say ‘This isn’t so bad.’"
The article begins, "At her dental appointments Deann Romanick sips green tea and takes in the scent of lavender and the sounds of New Age music. She gets free paraffin hand wax treatment, blankets, a warm neck pad and video glasses in which she can watch "Seinfeld" episodes while the dentist works on her teeth.
The pampering eased her through a root canal and a tooth replacement, and now with her fears of dental work gone, she has moved on to more elective procedures."
Oh Deann, come chew with me!
"Now more than ever people are looking to improve their smiles," said Dr. Irwin Smigal, a Manhattan dentist and founder and president of the American Society of Dental Aesthetics.
At first I found this puzzling. Why now would people want to improve their smiles when nowadays there is so much less to smile about.
Oh well, I thought, be grateful for the new terms entering our lexis. ‘Dental Spa’ and ‘Staff Aesthetician’ can now forever grace our language.
Certainly, Western Civilization has reached its culmination.
I think I’ll write to Dr. Smigal and recommend that hookers in the office would be a pleasant addition. Do you think my insurance will cover?
