Sunday, June 04, 2006
Meeting
Bam! Bam! Bam!
"Quiet please!"
Bam! Bam! Bam!
"The meeting will come to order."
Bam! Bam! Bam!
"Mr. Parliamentarian, do we have a quorum?"
"Yes Elsie. I count 23 members present."
"Will the secretary please read the minutes of the last meeting?"
Edna Wilson rose from her front row seat and read in her quaking, nearly inaudible voice.
"I move that the minutes be accepted as read," called a voice in the back.
"Wait a minute. My objection to the changes in parking spaces wasn’t mentioned."
Vigorous discussion followed, and it was agreed to record Charley’s objection and to otherwise ignore it.
"I move that the minutes be accepted as amended." called the voice in the back.
"Seconded," called another, and to Edna’s relief, the minutes were accepted.
"May we have the Treasurers report, please."
"Gladys isn’t here." This was Sophie. "She asked me to report that our bank balance is now forty-six dollars and thirteen cents. Twelve members haven’t paid their dues yet, and four still haven’t paid for last year."
Now came a stentorious sound like the sawing of wood. Joe Jasperson had fallen asleep again. This was early for him. He usually didn’t nod off until well into the discussion of ‘Old Business’. His wife Esther poked him.
Most of the meeting was devoted to ‘Old Business’, about which no discernable progress was made. Nonetheless, persons responsible for progress spoke at length, generally saying nothing.
Now a crisis was approaching. The meeting hadn’t gotten yet to 'New Business’, and the coffee
was already becoming tepid, the soda flat and the pastries soggy.
Jasperson was snoring again. Esther poked him again.
Inevitably, as with all meetings, it ended. The attendees moved faster than they had all day, forming the refreshments line.
Author’s Note: I never go to meetings.
"Quiet please!"
Bam! Bam! Bam!
"The meeting will come to order."
Bam! Bam! Bam!
"Mr. Parliamentarian, do we have a quorum?"
"Yes Elsie. I count 23 members present."
"Will the secretary please read the minutes of the last meeting?"
Edna Wilson rose from her front row seat and read in her quaking, nearly inaudible voice.
"I move that the minutes be accepted as read," called a voice in the back.
"Wait a minute. My objection to the changes in parking spaces wasn’t mentioned."
Vigorous discussion followed, and it was agreed to record Charley’s objection and to otherwise ignore it.
"I move that the minutes be accepted as amended." called the voice in the back.
"Seconded," called another, and to Edna’s relief, the minutes were accepted.
"May we have the Treasurers report, please."
"Gladys isn’t here." This was Sophie. "She asked me to report that our bank balance is now forty-six dollars and thirteen cents. Twelve members haven’t paid their dues yet, and four still haven’t paid for last year."
Now came a stentorious sound like the sawing of wood. Joe Jasperson had fallen asleep again. This was early for him. He usually didn’t nod off until well into the discussion of ‘Old Business’. His wife Esther poked him.
Most of the meeting was devoted to ‘Old Business’, about which no discernable progress was made. Nonetheless, persons responsible for progress spoke at length, generally saying nothing.
Now a crisis was approaching. The meeting hadn’t gotten yet to 'New Business’, and the coffee
was already becoming tepid, the soda flat and the pastries soggy.
Jasperson was snoring again. Esther poked him again.
Inevitably, as with all meetings, it ended. The attendees moved faster than they had all day, forming the refreshments line.
Author’s Note: I never go to meetings.
