Thursday, March 24, 2011
Driving
A recent New York Times article described a car that drove itself. Apparently Google is testing a fleet of seven such vehicles entirely robot controlled. If the idea catches on, I'm prepared to offer a series of enhancements certain to make me a wealthy man.
My improvements are primarily aimed at the human (ex)drivers' psyches. For example, a loudspeaker system needs to be included to yell and curse at offending divers. Without this tension release, many men can be expected to go home and beat their wives.
Also, I would offer an option to convert one side of the rear seating area into a wet bar. Because robots don't drink, DWI would disappear, so the (ex)driver will have the opportunity to get happily sloshed on the way home.
I plan, in my deluxe version, to offer robots that refill gas tanks at self service gas stations and change flat tires. Further, my robots will be capable of doing their own annual inspections. They will be programmed never to lie about the car's condition. Of course, I'll surreptitiously and anonymously make available, via the Internet, an over-ride for the honesty system. This is consistent with our nation's ethic that free enterprise must trump all else.
Bob Shinberg
3/10/11
My improvements are primarily aimed at the human (ex)drivers' psyches. For example, a loudspeaker system needs to be included to yell and curse at offending divers. Without this tension release, many men can be expected to go home and beat their wives.
Also, I would offer an option to convert one side of the rear seating area into a wet bar. Because robots don't drink, DWI would disappear, so the (ex)driver will have the opportunity to get happily sloshed on the way home.
I plan, in my deluxe version, to offer robots that refill gas tanks at self service gas stations and change flat tires. Further, my robots will be capable of doing their own annual inspections. They will be programmed never to lie about the car's condition. Of course, I'll surreptitiously and anonymously make available, via the Internet, an over-ride for the honesty system. This is consistent with our nation's ethic that free enterprise must trump all else.
Bob Shinberg
3/10/11
